got home from the airport yesterday mom made you hug me because u didnt even want to. Haven’t said a word to each other since me being home. even looking at you is hard listening to you talk is hard I just want to yell at you and cry at the same time you make things so hard.
Been here for a day, and I already cant stand it. Can I go back to Budapest where I didnt realize what a stupid bitch I was or look at my brother or be reminded of natick.
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Well I get to see my dad again Saturday but it’s because you had a stroke.
And i’m a shitty person because I barely even wanted to visit you in the hospital weeks before, when you had your knee surgery. Causing me an monika to get in one of the biggest fights ever, because I didnt want to visit you again. Because I didnt want to see the dying lady who was laying next to you, and you couldnt even recognize me. And I had to just stare at the dirty cracks on the ground because I couldnt look at you.
So now I feel like the lands shittest person basically.
